But I am going to blog it anyway.

Me:  Do we want the year and month to represent initial click or date of conversion?

Colleague:  Hmm.  Good question.

Me:  Oh wait.  Let’s think about this.  Not all clickers are converters.  We need to measure efficacy.  So for apples and apples we want click date.  Confirmed?

Colleague:  Confirmed.  (Pause.)  Faster, better, decision making.

Me:  (To tune of Kanye’s Stronger)  Faster, better, decision making. Dddddata that doesn’t kill me, can only make me stronger.

Colleague:  (bobs head)

(Mutual moment of realization of dorkiness.)

(Continuation of head-bobbing)

Me:  Yo, we got some hot SQL action up in here!

(Boys in button-downs who build trading floors continue ignoring us.)

(Moment of brief adolescent glee passes.)

(I look over and note that the .xls on colleague’s laptop is pink and green.)

(I stick a post-it note on his screen that reads “‘The Westport.xlt’”)

(SCENE) 

It just occurred to me while jamming my Saturday morning sunny-side-ups down my gullet that just as the way in which cities are built and designed reflects the philosophical underpinnings of said urban architects –

Moses wanted to keep the people who couldn’t afford their own private cars off of parkways like the Hutch; those scenic views were the provenance of the wealthy (read: white) hence bridges with low overpasses

– so too is the way in which databases and online communities are built a reflection of the philosophies of said DBAs.

• Which nuggets of information are valuable?
• How will we determine who qualifies to see what?
• How do we measure and evaluate our fellow humans?

I am wondering if there are any academic explorations of these themes.  (Relationship between the philosophy of built communities and the philosophy of database structure, notions of the worldviews information database design, etc.)

Has anyone seen anything that pushes this further?  I’d like to know what the prevailing theories are.

Information becomes knowledge becomes understanding becomes wisdom.

(NB:  each of those “becomes” is actually a “becomes subscript n, becomes subscript n+1″ etc.; note that the fxn “becomes” will not be defined at this time.)

Okay, back to my protein.  Anyone up for a swim at the NYSC on 49th and Broadway later?

Um, why come they don’t just print a subway map on the front and back of our metro cards?

Shout-out and thank you to New York magazine for their recent direct mail solicitation.  I needed to update my furry, pulp-y wallet subway line map card.

This post has been moved here effective September 10, 2008:  negotiating distribution contracts in the age of affiliate marketing.

When I was at The Bank, a swarm of pen-clicking auditors descended on my pack-ratty cubicle to Taylorize my every move.

• What was my process for making sure affiliates didn’t steal artwork from Zurich museums?
• Which word list did I consult whilst subtly insulting certain colleagues via email?
• How, exactly, did I sort and organize all the trees that came out of the printer?

All this documentation was necessary to ensure Sarbanes Oxley compliance.  We can’t have pussy cats obscuring card art, after all, lest a consumer complain when her credit card arrived in its welcome pack without an actual kitten.

Annoying as it was, I can’t lie, I secretly liked it.  I love engineering processes and checklists and forms.  For routinized, predictable tasks, nothing pleases me more than the transparency of a well-documented list, embedded macros optional.  It helps when people outside your direct line of work start poking around; you’re already armed with the documentation you need to tell them to stop being an idiot educate them about what it is that you do and why they should shut the how that benefits them in the long run.

Documentation also allows for cross-franchise efficiency.  I am squirming in my seat right now and must use the word amortize, because that’s what process transparency does within an organization:  it allows a knowledge worker the opportunity to amortize the routinized aspects of their jobs across different silos within a complex organization.  (At least, in theory.)

I wish, then, that auditors would come and demand some Visio flowcharts from our gubmint.  If we could just take a step back, look at the carnival blinking lights that is our obscenely large government, cross-check various programs and align them against their ultimate goal (reduce poverty, stop abuse, prevent the munchies), perhaps we’d be able to identify some effort duplication and thus, opportunities for streamlining.

I understand the intense effort that this would involve, how much time it would take, etc. etc.  And I know that budget line complications would give some pooh-poohers the chance to say, arms skyward, “There’s no way in hell we can operationalize this.”  And yet, when my crazy little slice of the earth at The Bank had to hit multiple budget lines, we ultimately figured out how to git ‘er done.  And the effort was worth it.

When I think about the machinery that undergirds so many of the services etc. that we take for granted, I can’t help but think it’s a good idea to occasionally peek under the hood and make sure it’s built real good.

And anyway, wouldn’t transparency be a good thing?  Wouldn’t a nice deck teeming with 3 pt. bold black lines around boxes that point to other boxes give way to more strong minds collaborating and considering more efficient means to achieve the stated end?

Just got an email from CJ announcing that Yahoo’s paying $1.00 to every affiliate that sources a toolbar download. Given proximity to the Microsoft offer rejection, me wonders if Yahoo isn’t looking to rush and beef up their numbers prior to a serious negotiation?

As a Yahoo! publisher, you’ll earn commission for promoting any one of the Yahoo! Properties included in the program.

Consumer Products:

• Yahoo! Toolbar: $1.00 per completed download
• Yahoo! Personals: $22+ per subscription
• Yahoo! Autos: $4.50 per quote (up to 4 quotes per user)
• Yahoo! Games: $5.00 per sale
• Yahoo! HotJobs: $0.50 per application

B2B Products:

• Yahoo! Web Hosting: $60 per subscription
• Yahoo! Merchant Solutions: $90 per subscription
• Yahoo! HotJobs: 20% of sale
• Yahoo! Search Marketing: $15.00 per account

Reminds me of the payouts that Discover card was paying prior to the spinoff from Morgan Stanley Dean Whatever. No way the back-end P&Ls for the payouts they were giving could be sustained over the long haul, but what did Discover care about long term so long as their acquisition numbers could support a short term high valuation thing a ma bob?

Note: ANP knows nearly nothing regarding deal terms and valuations and stuff.  But she RECKONS …

While rooting around an old email archive, I happened upon some ephemera from my .com days 1.0.

Back when I was Marketing Manager at Blink.com, Inc., acquired by The Vendare Group in 2.2002, officially I:

• Built majority of the BlinkRewards program, driving 100% of Blink consumer revenue; initiatives included customer service processes, prize redemption capability, viral marketing functionality, member acquisition efforts and retention strategies
• Designed and implemented all aspects of outbound email efforts including objectives, strategy, list segmentation, .html design, technical specifications, and results analysis; automated distribution scripts

Unofficially, I gratuitously used capital letters, first name munge tags, and exclamation points in .html emails that I wrote and coded on my lonesome, signing with our CEO’s name if only to clear ANP of any average-doing.

Here. Take a gander!

From: BlinkRewards [mailto:blink-rewards@…]
Sent: Friday, February 09, 2001 10:57 AM
Subject: Smart + Savvy = <<FIRSTNAME>>

Hi <<FIRSTNAME>>–

Save big. Be smart. Take pictures. CELEBRATE! You can do it all right HERE and NOW with this super fantabulous message. Read on!

And not as if you’d forget, but every point you earn is an entry to WIN $50 worth of Flooz!

great offers in today’s payday

Click here to visit ClubRegalCasino for classy casino games and FREE 40 points for visiting!

Click here to visit Cigar.com for CELEBRATION props and 210 points on the dollar!

Click here to go to GreenfieldOnline to revolutionize new products FREE plus 1,000 points for registering!!

Click here to visit InfoRocket for expert help and 1,500 points for asking a question!

featured offer

Zing is the hottest photo community on the web

Zing is amazing! No wonder it’s the web’s HOTTEST photo community! You can store and share your photos, figure out how to make the most AMAZING and JAW-DROPPING screen-savers ever, and tons of other incredibly useful things, too!  TOTALLY FREE and easy way to prompt the question, “Wow, how did you do that?!” With Zing, you’re amazing!

Don’t delay — click on over and register FREE and EASY for all the great benefits of Zing!

As if this weren’t enough, you’ll get 1,000 points for registering!

* FREE online photo storage
* Send FREE Zing cards
* Share your favorite photographs FREE
* Make incredible Screensavers FREE
* More great features!

Click HERE for 1,000 points!

hit paydirt with the payday contest

Props to Blink Member XTeen9901 who won $50 of Flooz this week. (Congratulations!!)

You can win EASY Flooz, too — JUST by earning points! Every point is an entry to WIN! The more points you earn, the better your chances. See details below. Click here to start earning more points right now!

hey hey, we’re the blinkees

Yes, yes, yes, you LOVE to spread the JOY of being a Blinker, don’t you?!  Now, when you refer friends to Blink, you earn points whenever they do — AND you’re giving a free present to your friends just for reading about
Blink. While you just get 1,000 points for the first ten people you refer, you get the “downstream points” for everyone you refer, no matter how many!

Refer your friends now!

Have a great day, and keep on Blinkin’!

Sincerely,
D—- S—–, CEO
& The BlinkRewards Team

Hit PayDirt contest details: Winners will be announced weekly by their Blink membername. Winner will be contacted via email prior to announcement.  Special offers such as double points may not apply to the PayDay contest.

_____

BlinkRewards balance: You currently have <<POINTS>> points
Account balance accurate at time of mailing and may differ from your account activity records.

Any questions about your points? Get answers at: My Account

_____

To stop receiving this email, reply to this email with the word “unsubscribe” in the subject.

Oh, to be an ambitious little 24 year old.

What were you doing seven years ago? (Clicking here now?)

Parse this subdirectory structure: http://www.blink.com/s/0/en/img/blinkreward-icon2.gif

And how ’bout this URL convention: http://www.blink.com/br?arg1=0&arg2=18375346&arg3=20103977&cookie=<<COOKIE>>

Turns out the contractors building the American Apparel in Phoenix weren’t amused by the words “Coming Soon” superimposed over their customary edgy graphics. They ripped down the sign just before Super Bowl.

Don’t worry. The art department’s got a Fed Ex account. A replacement picture is coming soon.