TV critic part two!

Watching her act like such a cunt makes me want to claw my eyeballs out.  Why is she freaking out about a stupid crashed laptop?

Whatever.  Grow up.  It’s a wonder Aidan doesn’t throw the damned  machine at her fuzzy head.

Wait, speaking of insane, now I’m watching a Cymbalta ad.  When I was on the Lilly account, I remember some 19 year old girl who was in the clinical trials hung herself while we were concepting banners and thinking about the DTP email list drops to announce its launch.  (And then, I feel like a lower dosage of Cymbalta = Yentreve, the drug for SUI (urinary incontinence)?)

Packing up the books and rifled through one of my favorites.

He smiled, ‘Why, you will go home and then you will find that home is not home anymore.  Then you will really be in trouble.  As long as you stay here, you can always think:  One day I will go home.’

– From James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room

(Earlier references to this book.) 

Y’all have helped me buy mascara, an eyelash curler, and a host of other things.  Now I need your help buying stuff for my  new apartment:

• An iron.  Vix took hers and Downy Wrinkle Eraser makes my hands sticky.
• A food processor.  I hear Kitchenaid makes a good one but dag, there’s so many options.

More to come, I’m sure.

Back to packing.

TIA!

I’d no idea how fitting Seneca would be for my time underground.

There is nothing that the passage of time does not demolish and remove.

–Seneca

I’m adding his maxims straightaway to my bag of oft-spout! (Don’t be jealous, Kierkegaard, Heidegger, and Neitzsche: I still love you.)

(Not you, Kant.)

My favorite Senec-ism could possibly become the tagline for turtle-dom:

Let my mind be fixed on itself, cultivate itself, have no external interest — nothing that seeks the approval of another; let it cherish the tranquillity that has no part in public or private concerns.

– Seneca

Oh, hell yes.

Other Seneca niblets included within my Quotations photoset on Da Flix.

And may I highly recommend “On the shortness of life.” (Rick Warren would approve.)

One can get Caribbean lip from the comfort of their own locale by carefully following the steps below:

1. Take an anti-acne med-sin that makes your skin especially photosensitive
2. Fail to disclose this on a form at your dentist’s office
3. Get your teeth bleached in a process that involves UV rays

Then, call your friend Rachel and howl in pain and agree to follow her advice and buy Blistex ASAP!

I had to get a form stating that I will not harbor dogs notarized, which is a few levels of ridiculous.  I mean, hellooooo?  ANP?  Pets?  I thinkus nottus.

Anyhoo, if you need to pay $2 to get a three dimensional stamp on a piece of paper, may I recommend the services of a kindly bespectacled notary public a.k.a. Steven E. Hiller, Attorney at Law, 172 E. 24th Street (@ Third Avenue), (212) 477 2135?

Tell him ANP sent you.  HAHAHAHA, yeah right, as if he’d remember me.  As if lawyers have feelings!

In our last bout, Bigelow’s beat out Kohl’s.

Now, since my face is equally zitty irregardless of toner type, I’m going on the most important qualities in a toner to me:

1. Does it smell good?
2. Is the bottle pretty?

I did like Shiseido, it felt soft going on to my face and had a pleasing soft smell, but I don’t have delicatro skin a la Rachel. I still like the eye-ball zapping sting of Sea Breeze, I can’t lie, and I have been known to use straight up alcohol on my skin in a pinch.

So the reigning champion?

Bigelow.

Next: Bigelow battles Neutrogena’s alcohol-free toner.

Sellin’ it.

I’ve had a lot of great memories with this car. First time I test drove it was the night after I attended my first rave, and when I picked it up I’d just returned from dancing at Twilo all night to PVD. Crazy to think about the person I was then.

Jeremy and I logged a lot of miles in this car, our Lady. From Flushing to Port Chester, all around Connecticut, tooling around Westchester. We drove down the eastern seaboard to Savannah, Georgia, and up to Acadia National Park in Maine. I remember driving up from Flushing on Friday nights to head up to our “country home”, then back down on Sunday evenings in time for me to catch Six Feet Under. Good memories.

A few other men I’ve tested in the driver’s seat since then. They stalled the engine, couldn’t park her, or scraped her paint up. Not quite up to par.

But, as with Jeremy, as much as I love Lady, our time has come to call it a day. I hadn’t driven her in three months and my life is changing in ways that no longer accommodate a car. For starters, I no longer commute to The Bank. For seconders, I’m moving to Manhattan.

So I’m hoping to find her a loving home. If you know anyone, send ‘em my way.

• 2001 Volkswagen Jetta GLS Turbo Sedan 4D
• 5 speed manual
• 58,100 miles
• Wolfsburg edition
• Air conditioning
• Power steering
• Power windows
• Power door locks
• Tilt wheel
• Cruise control
• AM/FM stereo
• Cassette
• Dual front air bags
• ABS (4 wheel)
• Alloy wheels
• Some dings in paint / body
• No paint or body work done
• Unaltered frame
• No defects in glass, lights, or lenses
• No rust
• Minor upholstery & carpet wear
• No odors
• Fully functional locks / radio
• Minor engine / tranny noises
• Trouble-free steering / suspension
• Fully functional AC / heater
• Brakes less than half worn
• Brand new tires purchased from TireRack in late December (<1,000 miles on them)
• Clean title (I’m the original owner; picked her up with 8 miles on it)
• Passed emissions test
• Current & complete maintenance (have had serviced primarily at Volkswagen dealers)

I love driving this car. She handles curves like a dream, and with that turbo zoom … * sigh *

More pics here.

$8,125.

On the iPod_ANP:

• Cherry Blossom Girl, Air
• I Play Music, Rosie Thomas
• Appreciate, Pete Rock
• Running Up That Hill, Thee Heavenly Music Association
• Love Will Tear Us Apart, Nouvelle Vague

The original version of that last track was on a mix that the photographer made the old version of me (post Army Ranger, pre-therapy). I bought the Nouvelle Vague version during the summer of ‘05 while on a business trip down to Miami. I’d invited the man I was dating to join me, but he declined. I knew, I knew, I knew, but somehow I wanted to pretend. To fix.

So I’m on Lincoln and I visit that store I love and they’ve got a great DJ who acts as one’s personal music guru so I didn’t even mind paying $17 a CD. I figure the markup is worth the advice. I spit out a few artists that I like, and he tells me to take a listen to Nouvelle Vague.

So the sounds of Nouvelle Vague (and Bent’s Ariels; not on iTunes but I am feeling their Beautiful Otherness) remind me of lying in my Miami hotel room, wishing he were by my side, the noise of the stale-smelling air conditioning barely covering the raucous 3 a.m. South Beach nightlife below.

I love how music can take me places, drench my brain and surround me in memory.

Suddenly I am reminded of that scene in Blade Runner — playing piano — were they both programmed with the same faux memory — ?

Oops, timer just went off.